And Now For The Missing Bits...

By Eddy Blaxell

The first home game for Team Fyfe. A glorious occasion. Out in force at Tempe reserve, in front of a Terminus in full voice, finally able to make use of the conditions we knew so well.

Or so it would have been, had the Fyfes managed to muster more than 11 players, only six of whom had previously set foot on the hallowed Tempe turf, for their match against Dunbar Rovers.

One of the six was Shane Porter, who went through a rigorous warm-up routine as referee of the AA8s, while the rest of the team prepared for the game in the usual manner; walking around looking for the field, talking to women, laughing at jokes that weren't funny, whinging about something, and asking each other for tape.

Soon enough the whistle blew and as Morgan yelled a vaguely audible tactical plan at his charges, the Fyfes loitered toward the semicircle.

They'd barely made it to the sideline when the toss was complete, so they loitered back and took up positions, before all deciding to swap with one another as the impatient referee looked on.

From memory, the initial lineup looked something like this, with the team back into the 4-4-2 mould in a bid to provide Jacko with some much-needed confidence:

Jacko

Burkey D'Arcy Lewis Shane

Dan Eddy B Hibbert Gordo

Long Luke

Blaxell moved himself into midfield, in the absence of Curran and not feeling like doing too much running after suffering a mild hangover strain in warm-up.

Luke was given his first start, mainly due to no-one turning up, while D'Arcy Blaxell and Shane were pushed into defence because they didn't argue with Morgan.

All eyes, however, were on Chen, the "Chinese Bees Knees," who had been due for a good performance for some six years.

The early exchanges were typical of Fyfe's play this season; very fast and direct, but sloppy, as the Cove side all too often sought to do things too quickly and made basic errors.

Chen was proving the predicted handful in his target man role, winning numerous free kicks, including one for a bamboozling trip over the ball that had D'Arcy in stitches.

On 15 minutes substitute striker Leigh went close after using his strength to get on the end of a D'Arcy Blaxell free kick, but the tall keeper was alert to keep out his low header.

It didn't take long though before the Fyfes were in the lead.

Some neat interplay by the Fyfe midfield saw D'Arcy Blaxell find his elder brother, who was streaming down the right and managed to cut the ball back, where it took a deflection and fell to Luke on the corner of the six yard box.

Showing age-inappropriate maturity, and clearly having benefited from his midweek lecture, Luke coolly squared the ball and gave Dan the simplest of tap-ins for a 1-0 lead. Actually apparently it was Gordo.

Soon after we conceded, I don't really remember how.

And so the teams went to half time at 1-1.

Blaxell stole the show in the interval, pointing out to his team the need to keep possession, press as a team and come to training.

Tactical changes were also made; after Blaxell pointed out that the defence had been more solid when it was flatter at the beginning of the half, Morgan dropped his captain back to marshall a flat four alongside Lewis, Hibbert and Pumba - surely one of the more solid backlines in the league.

But the highlight of half time was the magical magic act performed by Morgan on behalf of Ed "Hammertime" Curran, who was yet to arrive after suffering mechanical problems on his south-coast safari.

This information will not be published here.

The second half started in dour fashion but was livened up two minutes in, when Gordo got hit in the nuts and screamed for a good minute or two.

After that the football started, and after Jacko had come off his line to thwart a Dunbar attack, the Fyfes took the lead again.

A long ball from the heart of defence was controlled by Chen, and the man with the 99.45 UAI outwitted the defender and the goalkeeper to such and extent that they both ran out to the 18 yard box before conspiring to pass the ball back to him for the easiest of tap-ins.

From then on it was all Dunbar Rovers.

For the umpteenth time this season desparate defending from Hibbert, crazy headless chook play from Lewis, raw strength from Burkey and calm organisation from Blaxell led to a backline that although pressured rarely looked like conceding.

More likely, it appeared, was a fight between Blaxell and number 13, who was getting more and more annoyed with the Cove defence's constant appeals for offside.

D'Arcy Blaxell yet again proved a vital link in the Lokomotiv chain, popping up at the right moment to win numerous headers and make more than one crucial tackle, as well as holding his nerve to find Chen - who had taken up a position wide on the right - when he had the ball.

You can all guess what happened next.

With less than five minutes to go, we conceded from a freekick, and then a limp softcock goal of a random demented cross and goalmouth semi-scramble. Apparently the ref sucked lots to let them both in. Wouldn't surprise me in the least.

Nonetheless, the Fyfes proved that with a bit more commitment and familiarity they can be a force this season.


People I didn't mention much:

Shane did very well in the second half, holding the ball up for Chen and allowing the midfield to move up in support of the frontmen. Proved in the first that he's not a defender at this level.

Curran's mullet was on full show for the last half-hour, flying everywhere as he chased the ball round with all the youthless enthusiasm of a bloke who had to run for an hour less than the rest of us.

Burkey was good, as ever, but more importantly seemed half a yard quicker than before and managed to keep pace with the left winger when they started to play long balls over the top in the second half.

Ben Ben Number Ten from the AA8s filled in, and was awesome, won lots of ball and usually found a man. He also wore cool google goggle glasses.

Marcus, Rory, Quinn and Jasper are this week's wall of shame inductees.